DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS ELIMINATION - Forum Elimination 2, Electric Boogalo

[MarchizonAdmin]

DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS ELIMINATION

Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we ye die.

In ye ancient fantasy world of Lycanthria, which is set after the invention of dungeons and loot but before the invention of machine guns and lawyers, a band of Adventurers are hired for a quest. But this is different from the usual dungeon crawl. Enemies have infiltrated the party. Now the mighty Adventurers must fight harder than ever if they want to live long enough to enjoy their loot ... not just against the kobolds and orcs, but against each other.

Against kobolds and orcs too though.

Exact rules to follow, but our noble founder Von Krupt summarized it pretty well.

It's a forum game played both by Private Message and discussion in the game thread, very simple rules but you can do a lot of thinking and planning and trickery in order to win.
It's a turn game following a Day 1 - Night 1 -Day 2 - Night 2 - etc. pattern where whenever a day or night ends I post a report in story format. There are two sides, the villagers and the enemies, who can be anything but for this game would be werewolves. You role is assigned randomly as most of the game plays on the fact players don't know each others role - villagers win by surviving untill all werewolves are dead, and the werewolves win by surviving aswell - aka killing everyone or outnumbering the humans in a day turn.

Fairplay rules and all that jazz. Ya can be bastards in the game, but if you're a bastard in real life, you're just a bastard. No copy-pasting PMs, using real life friendships/factors/docs to guarantee honesty, et cetera.
In-character murder, lies, manipulation, and insults are all encouraged, but as usual be good sports about it and keep it in character.
I don't expect a lot of people to participate. I do expect participants to participate.
Please try to post a heads up in blue text if busy issues come up.
Some of you can edit in this forum. I trust you to not abuse this.
Full rules to come up later.
Forum Elimination is dead. Long live Forum elimination.

So now all that boilerplate is all done, I have 2 questions:
Light suggested cutting days down to 24 hours due to reduced player count to compress posting. Opinions?
And most importantly.

The old tavern keeper grins toothlessly at you and starts polishing a mead bottle shaped like a pig. "More adventurers, eh?" she croaks. "They never learn, do they. Heh. Heheheheheh. What's your story, stranger?"

What do you say?

[MarchizonAdmin]

Note: I will give a bonus item to the person who belts out the most epic medieval ballad by the time signups are over.

[Forum Moderator]

Do you want me to actually record something? Because I am totally up for that challenge.

[MarchizonAdmin]

The tavern keeper sticks her finger into her ear and digs ferociously, flicking what she dislodges into the fire, which sputters horribly and briefly turns lime green. "I'm jest the tavern keeper, laddie. I don't care what you do to the place as long as you don't burn it down or get the guards lookin' too closely at what I'm puttin' inter mah mead. Have a little fun [s]before you die.[/s]."

[araxoolie]

Hi! I'm Araxulioth! Or at least I think so. That's what it said in this circle I found yesterday. Then there was this angry man with robes and he said something about a deal but I didn't listen very much. Anyway, he caught fire for some reason so I left. Do you have water here? I heard water is good for fire and I'd like to see if I can bring him some. They say you need eight cups of water per day but they don't say if that's for if you're on fire or if you're not on fire, and he started being on fire yesterday, so maybe I should bring sixteen cups.

[MarchizonAdmin]

"Water?" The tavern girl tosses a glass of whatever she's been drinking into the fire, which immediately roars up and everything smells of booze. "I'm not sure. No one has ever asked this of me before. I'll have to ask the cook about exotic requests."

[Forum Moderator]

Salutations! I am Archibultus Perimuk, Magus Extraordinaire! I have recently emerged from the loving bosom of the Sanctum of the Arcane, where I completed my schooling  as valedictorian, specializing in haruspicy, geomancy, and the magnavocabularic arts. This is a very interesting establishment that you operate, beldame. Very... rustic. Agrarian. It has a quaint charm that has a certain proletarian esprit. Tell me, do you serve the laboring classes here at all? I ask because I seek such an establishment. My thesis advisor, Grand Magus Magnablugarian, whom you have doubtless heard of, advised me, perhaps in a rare state of error, that getting out amongst "hoi polloi", as he put it, was simply of paramount importance. Then again, he of course subscribes to Albismuth's Theory of Subjective Organization, which of course needs no explanation, and thus may be untrustworthy. I again query: are you acquainted with the common classes? Could you direct me to a portion of them?  I must ascertain what is intriguing about them.

[Forum Moderator]

Ok, my submission for the ballad. It's as terrible in every respect as you'd think it is.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-0z3drAdPcEcXlYNzdsdEpGWTd6eW5FUTl6WGFFNUp4aC1j/view?usp=sharing
That should work, although you might have to download it or whatever.

[MarchizonAdmin]

A happy tear just rolled down the bar tender's warty old face.

[El Zoof]

Brothers! Sisters! Otherthingers! We shouldn't be fighting amongst each other.

We should be minimaximizing our killtential through synergy. We need to stop.

Collaborate.

And listen.

Zak is bak with the same old intention
Powerpoint your plays and voting rightly
Then I throw in a harpoon stabbing nightly
Will it ever stop?
God, I hope so!
Start a big fight or I'll go
To the Excel, I spread a sheet with a pie chart
Fireball a mage and stab a vamp through it's dark heart

Charts
Showin' the liar that kills
I'm fillin' your head with some cloud-centric team-wills
Brandwidth, when I fungibly dominate
Anything more than the least will disseminate
Backward compatible
You better backend
Cross-platform efficiency
Web-ready to send
If there's a problem
Yo, Zak solves it
Think outside the book while he content-e-volves it

Zak Zak Bizness Artifice
Zak Zak Bizness Tificer
Zak Zak Bizness Queen ripoff
Zak Zak Biznesssssssssss

Yo.

[DuAdmin]

*slow clap*

I'll sign up as soon as I get my ballad written and recorded, which will largely depend on how long it takes me to learn to write in the Dorian mode.

[MarchizonAdmin]

I am dreadfully sorry! This may have to be put on hold and Blue may be DMing THE FINAL ELIMINATION instead. I am overwhelmed by life right now and Blue has his game ready already (plus he invoked Article 0). I'll make it up to all you guys who made ballads because you rock.

[DuAdmin]

Hey, gives me more time to work out the percussion.

[MarchizonAdmin]

Sorry, to be clear, anyone wanting to sign up to blue's Final Elimination should go here

http://forums.cracked.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=65642&start=31620

As it will be held on PWoT (as long as it exists!)

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